Post by KEG on Jul 1, 2014 16:38:55 GMT
The steam rises from the asphalt in the hot parking lot. A light haze drapes the quiet horizon. From afar you can see a well traversed highway and a couple stranded cars in the lot in front of you. The cars move along and you swear you could’ve seen Jax riding by on his chopper.
Interrupting the quiet peace of the scenery, a car screeches its tires. The vehicle rides by and brakes right in front of the camera. The shot stays still, filming the lower part of the driver’s car door. Classically, it opens up and out comes out a size eleven boot. The brown leather sole meets the black tar parking lot in a manly metaphorical face off, country vs. city.
The shot rises up as the man standing tall pulls on his shirt. The shot rises to the shoulders as you see that the man is inexplicably holding a cane with the name "Matilda" carved into it. Another inch and you feel the anger coming off the face, like the steam off the road, the man’s face isn’t revealed yet but the rage signature points you to guess that you are about to see KEG, for he is the only source of violence pure enough to emit such a strong signal.
Standing in front of the Toys R’ Us, KEG scratches his newly-grown beard and makes a face, he looks at the camera in front of him and waves his fist in a backhand motion, almost striking the lens as he does that.
KEG: A fifteen minute drive from the arena all the way to the closest toy store. That’s the maximum amount of time I’m going to be granting Defecto this week. If you’re following, that means that I intend to make our match the new record for the shortest match in the history of wrestling, because the other idiots don't even count. I might not have been around this profession all my life like the most of you, but I’m at least professional enough to train up, before I walk in the ring.
KEG begins to cross the lot, making his way towards the automated entrance door. He lifts his shoulders and raises his hands as if to motion interrogation.
KEG: Why would a guy like Lyons who looks like a fifty year old man want people to respect him confuses me. Hell, it sounds like a trick to attract young boys in his locker and if that’s the case, let me correct myself in saying that I’m going to be having the longest match in the history of wrestling, because guys like him don’t need to be beaten, they need to be tortured. But let’s hope Mr.Lyons only likes consensual sex with farm animals, by looking at his attire and his speech pattern it’s not out of the question.
KEG looks into the camera and confesses.
KEG: Look Lyons, I know you’re going to be riled up after that comment and I know that I’m going to be hearing your less than eloquent retort in a matter of days. Calling you a pig-fucker in public is my way of distracting you, I know insults and shiny objects grab your attention easily. Call up your friends on your cell phone and talk to us about it for a couple of minutes, you'll have the audience riveted to their seats, just like a boring ass Beck Ramsey promo, I assure you.
He winks and walks into the store, an armada of colored plastic attacks the senses. Boxed and wrapped figurines as far as the eyes can see. KEG breathes in – as if to gather courage- exhales, and walks in.
KEG: Rave, you know we've faced off before here in MWE, and I remember correctly that you expected to have the upper hand in any confrontation, but I also recall that you’re a coward with not an ounce on strength or faith, so I decided that the only way that I could fairly beat you, was by using a shopping cart full of children’s toys and beating you with it. Scotty, are going to get a Megatron rammed down your throat so hard that you won’t even have time to say I quit, you’ll be chocking on accessories and multi-jointed limbs.
He smirks, several children cower in fear behind giant boxes when they see the tall man walk down their row.
KEG: You talk like a child, you act like a child. So if you want people to think you’re a child, then I’m going to punish you like a child. It’s almost poetic that a man called Rave is gonna be beaten to a pulp by a dude called KEG, you couldn’t make that shit up.
He grabs three boxes – apparently randomly- and throws them in his cart. You notice that the three toys seem to be made out of metal. The tonka sign on the box is a seal of approval.
KEG: Enough about that, I figure it’s time I explain the reasoning behind my presence here in MWE.
He keeps walking through the aisle; the rest of the promo has a flair to it.
KEG: Most of you know me because I like to get drunk and have a good time. But after my first match in the MWE which I lost, what happened? Oh yeah, the idiot owner decided to shove me way down the card and act as if I did something wrong by not winning. Not everyone can win their first MWE match, and I did put a lot into my first match. But I'm treated like a second class citizen after being what people could call an MWE Original. I see how things are going to be, and now that means that I'm going to have to take things even more serious than before. Now it's time for me to put away the drinking here in the MWE. If they want a dick, a bastard, a piece of shit to come out and talk some generic trash, then so be it. I'll be their monkey, I'll do what they want, but I'll also do what I want. Now it's going to be time for me to start beating the hell out of anyone and everyone who gets in my way. If you're a good guy, then you'd better steer clear, hombre.
I'm gonna go on a rampage in the MWE and I won't stop until that piece of shit Bryan Kennedy gets off his high horse and starts treating me with some respect. I'm tired of being threatened with something in the MWE. That place turned from a hot upstart to a major disappointment...much like what Kennedy claims I am. So if I'm going to be a disappointment, I might as well start taking out all of his favorites. He's a biased bastard, who has his favorite talent and the rest of us are apparently nothing more than garbage. I entered into the UWL to represent the MWE and Kennedy himself, but I don't get anything but spit in the face over it. So now it's time that I took down the MWE, for good.
After a long walk you realize that KEG has now landed at the cash register, he hands the cashier some cash while she scans the mass of toys – mostly metallic- that he has stored through the promo. Picking up his bags he adds in conclusion.
KEG: I’m going to hurt Defecto, Rave and Lyons to save the good name of wrestling, and then I'll destroy Bryan Kennedy for being the worst damn owner in this business.
He walks out of the store, every man/woman/child sighs a sigh of relief as the scene fades out to black.
Interrupting the quiet peace of the scenery, a car screeches its tires. The vehicle rides by and brakes right in front of the camera. The shot stays still, filming the lower part of the driver’s car door. Classically, it opens up and out comes out a size eleven boot. The brown leather sole meets the black tar parking lot in a manly metaphorical face off, country vs. city.
The shot rises up as the man standing tall pulls on his shirt. The shot rises to the shoulders as you see that the man is inexplicably holding a cane with the name "Matilda" carved into it. Another inch and you feel the anger coming off the face, like the steam off the road, the man’s face isn’t revealed yet but the rage signature points you to guess that you are about to see KEG, for he is the only source of violence pure enough to emit such a strong signal.
Standing in front of the Toys R’ Us, KEG scratches his newly-grown beard and makes a face, he looks at the camera in front of him and waves his fist in a backhand motion, almost striking the lens as he does that.
KEG: A fifteen minute drive from the arena all the way to the closest toy store. That’s the maximum amount of time I’m going to be granting Defecto this week. If you’re following, that means that I intend to make our match the new record for the shortest match in the history of wrestling, because the other idiots don't even count. I might not have been around this profession all my life like the most of you, but I’m at least professional enough to train up, before I walk in the ring.
KEG begins to cross the lot, making his way towards the automated entrance door. He lifts his shoulders and raises his hands as if to motion interrogation.
KEG: Why would a guy like Lyons who looks like a fifty year old man want people to respect him confuses me. Hell, it sounds like a trick to attract young boys in his locker and if that’s the case, let me correct myself in saying that I’m going to be having the longest match in the history of wrestling, because guys like him don’t need to be beaten, they need to be tortured. But let’s hope Mr.Lyons only likes consensual sex with farm animals, by looking at his attire and his speech pattern it’s not out of the question.
KEG looks into the camera and confesses.
KEG: Look Lyons, I know you’re going to be riled up after that comment and I know that I’m going to be hearing your less than eloquent retort in a matter of days. Calling you a pig-fucker in public is my way of distracting you, I know insults and shiny objects grab your attention easily. Call up your friends on your cell phone and talk to us about it for a couple of minutes, you'll have the audience riveted to their seats, just like a boring ass Beck Ramsey promo, I assure you.
He winks and walks into the store, an armada of colored plastic attacks the senses. Boxed and wrapped figurines as far as the eyes can see. KEG breathes in – as if to gather courage- exhales, and walks in.
KEG: Rave, you know we've faced off before here in MWE, and I remember correctly that you expected to have the upper hand in any confrontation, but I also recall that you’re a coward with not an ounce on strength or faith, so I decided that the only way that I could fairly beat you, was by using a shopping cart full of children’s toys and beating you with it. Scotty, are going to get a Megatron rammed down your throat so hard that you won’t even have time to say I quit, you’ll be chocking on accessories and multi-jointed limbs.
He smirks, several children cower in fear behind giant boxes when they see the tall man walk down their row.
KEG: You talk like a child, you act like a child. So if you want people to think you’re a child, then I’m going to punish you like a child. It’s almost poetic that a man called Rave is gonna be beaten to a pulp by a dude called KEG, you couldn’t make that shit up.
He grabs three boxes – apparently randomly- and throws them in his cart. You notice that the three toys seem to be made out of metal. The tonka sign on the box is a seal of approval.
KEG: Enough about that, I figure it’s time I explain the reasoning behind my presence here in MWE.
He keeps walking through the aisle; the rest of the promo has a flair to it.
KEG: Most of you know me because I like to get drunk and have a good time. But after my first match in the MWE which I lost, what happened? Oh yeah, the idiot owner decided to shove me way down the card and act as if I did something wrong by not winning. Not everyone can win their first MWE match, and I did put a lot into my first match. But I'm treated like a second class citizen after being what people could call an MWE Original. I see how things are going to be, and now that means that I'm going to have to take things even more serious than before. Now it's time for me to put away the drinking here in the MWE. If they want a dick, a bastard, a piece of shit to come out and talk some generic trash, then so be it. I'll be their monkey, I'll do what they want, but I'll also do what I want. Now it's going to be time for me to start beating the hell out of anyone and everyone who gets in my way. If you're a good guy, then you'd better steer clear, hombre.
I'm gonna go on a rampage in the MWE and I won't stop until that piece of shit Bryan Kennedy gets off his high horse and starts treating me with some respect. I'm tired of being threatened with something in the MWE. That place turned from a hot upstart to a major disappointment...much like what Kennedy claims I am. So if I'm going to be a disappointment, I might as well start taking out all of his favorites. He's a biased bastard, who has his favorite talent and the rest of us are apparently nothing more than garbage. I entered into the UWL to represent the MWE and Kennedy himself, but I don't get anything but spit in the face over it. So now it's time that I took down the MWE, for good.
After a long walk you realize that KEG has now landed at the cash register, he hands the cashier some cash while she scans the mass of toys – mostly metallic- that he has stored through the promo. Picking up his bags he adds in conclusion.
KEG: I’m going to hurt Defecto, Rave and Lyons to save the good name of wrestling, and then I'll destroy Bryan Kennedy for being the worst damn owner in this business.
He walks out of the store, every man/woman/child sighs a sigh of relief as the scene fades out to black.
